I am amazed at all the feelings and emotions that always come with the birth of a new baby. It's crazy how I can feel such highs and then plummet to such lows. I know every mom handles things differently but for some reason, I tend to struggle quite a bit for a few weeks after having a baby and then things sort of start falling into place and I start feeling a whole lot better. I think I'm just getting over my "tough period" and am starting to relax, get a groove, and just really enjoy having a new baby.
I'm not sure if it's the baby blues that I always get or if it's more than that, but the early days are quite hard. I wish I could just simply feel joy and not have all the other crazy emotions. I'm so incredibly thrilled to have baby Christian and yet sometimes I feel so overwhelmed with anxiety that I don't know what to do. I hate when he cries. And he doesn't cry that much, really, but it's always something that stresses me out, especially when we're in the car and I can't do anything about it. You would think that by the time I have my third baby, I would be used to the sound of babies crying, but I just never like hearing it. I want to fix it now! I want a happy baby.
I prayed so incredibly hard for nine months that Christian would be the most content, laid back baby ever. So when he's fussy, I feel like I somehow failed or that something went wrong. I know this is a bunch of silly stuff to write about and that it probably doesn't even make sense but these thoughts are weighing heavy on me now. I'm still trying to figure out Christian's personality and overall, he is much easier and cries a lot less than my girls did. I really don't have a whole lot to complain about, other than the fact that I haven't had a whole lot of sleep lately. Anyway, if anyone has ever struggled like this in the early days after having a baby, feel free to share your thoughts and wisdom with me. I know things will get better and they already are, but sometimes I just feel so inadequate and overwhelmed!
I'm so thankful for my kids and I'm thankful that God is helping me raise them! :)
So those are my jumbled up thoughts tonight....
4 comments:
Hang in there, my friend! I have felt like you do in the early weeks...especially with Karis. For me, getting to the point where she was sleeping through the night (atleast some of the time) has helped SO much. When I am overtired I tend to be easily overwhelmed and don't function like normal. I don't know exactly how to encourage you other than to remember that this too shall pass. And once you're on the other side of it it may be hard to remember just how hard it was. (Remember just how uncomfortable and frustrated you were at the end of your pregnancy! Does it seem like forever ago? I hope so! :)
I will be praying for you, Lesley!
Love, Anne
I had really rough baby blues for a week or two after Ali was born and I think the main reason was I've never had so little sleep in my entire life (as well as coming down off the pregnancy hormones). I cried all the time and was overwhelmed with her crying jags. With the boys I have had a bit more sleep and didn't experience them much at all.
If the sadness continues, I would talk to a trusted counselor or doctor about them to be evaluated for post partum depression. It's a very real condition and can be serious, but if someone gets the help they need right away it can be dealt with. I'm not saying you have it necessarily, but it's always a possibility for any of us who have a baby. Ask Sam for his input and evaluate how you feel after a couple of weeks and how you feel after you have gotten a bit more sleep.
I think it would be awesome if every weekend you could pump a few bottles or give Christian some formula and let Sam do the nighttime feedings so you can sleep straight through. I don't know if that would work for your schedule/body or not or if he would even take a bottle but it's worth a try.
You're doing a wonderful job and are a great mom!
You are a wonderful mother. You are doing a fabulous job.
Two key things: First, recognize that God made Christian exactly as He planned to and He knows you can manage this. He may have even given you an extra challenge to remind you to depend on Him through everything. But I know you and God can do this together.
Secondly, when I am at my wits end with any child crying I remind myself of why he/she may be crying. It can only be a few reasons. (Hungry, Sleepy, Hurting/Uncomfortable, Dirty/Messy, Needing attention, or Dissatisfied meaning you said no or something was taken away.) SO I go through the checklist. Did I change his diaper recently? Could he be hungry? Could he need some holding? Is something poking him or hurting him? etc. I have found 9 times out of 10, it is one of these causes and can be solved. And for stories of the other times, well . . . we can talk later. :)
You're going through a lot of adjusting right now. Everybody in your family is. Have patience and faith. I will pray for you too. God will increase your portion of grace and guidance. I believe in you!
Hi Lesley,
You don't know me but I think you know my sister Karen. I enjoy reading your blog and seeing pictures of your beautiful family.
Thanks for being so honest in this post. I know the pressure of the feeling that somehow we should be the perfect mom and never struggle with emotions, crying babies etc. like we should always "have it all together"
After I had Sabria last year I went through a lot of what you discribed. It was HARD having a baby that would cry for what I thought was no reason and my hormones were crazy! It really helped to talk to my Mid-wife and she explained to me that after my pregnancy my progesterone levels dropped too quickly causing me to feel so overwhelmed and hormonal etc. I used Progest cream for a while and in time everything leveled out.
All that said, remember that you're not alone or crazy. It's normal. Hang in there! You're doing a great job!!
I'll be praying for you!
~Krista
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