At my doctor appointment yesterday, I found out that I am still only one cm dialated and not really thinning out yet. How frustrating! Everything has been so different about this third pregnancy, including this. I wonder why my body is taking so long this time?
Anyway, I have finally come to a point where I am just surrendering the whole idea of "going early" and am just letting go! After tons of contractions that are obviously not doing anything, I am really going to focus on not wondering "if it's time" anymore. I will certainly know when I know! You can't mistake the pain of true labor. It feels good to not be on the edge of my seat anymore, wondering if every moment is the moment. I'm praying about it and instead of begging God to bring the baby out NOW, I am just asking for all things to happen at His appointed time and for patience for myself in dealing with the end of pregnancy discomforts. Of course I'm not going to be perfect at this, but so far, it has felt really good to just let go.
I have to accept the fact that I'm not going to have the baby as early as everyone, including my own doctor, thought. That is okay. Part of the problem is that everyone around me is treating me like I'm already overdue instead of being at 38 weeks. People call and make comments about me STILL being pregnant. I guess they are just as anxious as I am but it still makes it hard sometimes.
I think God has blessed me with feeling extra good at this point and a lot of the aches and pains have oddly lessened these past few days. In the whole scheme of things, a few days longer or shorter really isn't that much! Plus, even though I really want to be holding my baby like the friends who have had their babies before me, I am well aware of the work and sleep deprivation to come. So I need to enjoy these last nights of sleep while I can!
So, those are my thoughts. I feel better now. :) I've been ignoring the contractions since yesterday (as much as that is possible) and have accepted my fate. If it's another two weeks or more, so be it. Baby Christian can make his appearance whenever he feels like it!
2 comments:
That's great that you've come to the point of just letting go. I remember having to consciously do that as well. Like you said, take this time to enjoy "now", and Christian will be here before you know it! Can't wait to meet him!
Dear Les,
Funny you should write about this as this is exactly how I felt two weeks ago. Sick of getting hopes up! Accepting that eventually it would happen. That's one reason I went yard sale-ing in early labor. I thought, if the contractions pick up, great! If not, at least I got to go have fun and score some good deals!
It was REALLY hard for me to go past Aug. 10 and 11 since technically that would have been the point where I had delivered before. Thus, people acted like I was overdue all the time too!
It's funny on the other end of it, because once that baby comes, the time flies by like crazy! This last week, which has probably felt eternal to you, has raced by at lightening speeds for us!
I pray that little Christian comes soon but that until he does you get lots of rest, have fun with the girls, and don't experience discomfort and pain from the pregnancy. And I hope this next batch of contractions get really really hardcore and start doing something! (Just read my labor story for my account of being at 3 cm FOREVER). You could always do as I did and try evening primrose oil and "you know what."
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