A couple evenings ago, we had a couple and their eight year old daughter over for dinner. The unique thing about this couple is that they are probably close in age to my own parents and their eight year old daughter they brought is the youngest of their eight children!
I've learned much from this family over the past year as I've asked Jim tons of questions about big family life, home schooling, and living out God's truth in a very liberal world as we work together in a pro-life ministry twice a week. Having him and his wife over for dinner was the first chance I've had to really get to know his wife, Shelly and she is such a sweet woman of wisdom! Wow, I could have been too intimidated to have these people over -- after all, I am younger with less than half as many kids as she has and she's many, many years ahead of me and has learned invaluable things along the way, I'm sure. But I decided I was just going to do the best I could, not stress about anything, and enjoy having them over. We had such a good time. Their daughter, April was an absolute sweet heart and played so well with Aubrie even though Aubrie is half her age.
Shelly didn't make me feel intimidated in any way -- in fact, I had such a good time talking with her and she made me feel like I was a fully competent mother who may not be perfect but who is learning along the way. She stepped in to help me clean up and she was absolutely wonderful with my girls and of course she would be after home schooling many children and also being a teacher in the Christian school here in town.
It was so refreshing to have a "veteran" mom over who was so helpful in answering my questions about home schooling and other topics, but who didn't treat me like I'm "so young" and have SO much to learn. Of course I know I have a ton to learn but that comes with time.
It stood in contrast to what I dealt with this morning at church. Sam is on a temporary wacky schedule where he works Sundays and so I'm on my own at church with the girls each week. It is HARD. And Kayley chose today to be extra difficult. She wouldn't sit still in church or even play quietly like she sometimes does, but was wandering all over and throwing fits about everything. Aubrie was a challenge with her constant interrupting while I tried to talk to people and trying to be her sister's keeper which only irritates Kayley more and makes her throw more fits. Meanwhile, there was no children's church today because we had a men's singing group doing a special program today and then the lady who was supposed to be in the nursery gave me a strong hint about how she'd much rather hear the music than sit in the basement nursery with Kayley. She said to Kayley, in front of me, "I hope you can like the music so that I can enjoy it too." Well, I can take a hint. I had to keep Kayley under control myself and if she ended up being too much to handle during the program, I'd have to take her down to the nursery and sit with her there myself.
Which is what happened of course. So, I'm holed up in the nursery, missing the music and longing for my husband's helpful hands, when a couple ladies who were getting the potluck food ready decided to come see what Kayley was screaming so much about. I don't even know what Kayley was screaming so much about. Maybe she thought I was going to leave her in the nursery with someone else but that unfortunately wasn't going to happen. One of the ladies was being very sweet and trying to sing songs to Kayley and cheer her up a bit, but the other lady just kind of stood there and stared. I thought, "Does she have kids, and if so, have they ever thrown fits? Ahhh, don't just stand there and stare -- I'm doing the best I can!" The funny thing is, the sweet lady who was trying to be helpful doesn't even have any children of her own but she made me feel a whole lot better than the other lady who just stood and stared at me and Kayley.
Well anyway, I ended up getting both of the girls some food from the potluck table before everyone else came down to eat and that calmed things down a bit. Kayley was starving, which might have been part of the problem and she ate a bunch of food. But she still wouldn't stay and play quietly in the nursery unless I was in there, so I had to sit in a teeny little toddler's chair and eat my food hunched over my pregnant belly at a little table in the nursery, away from everyone else and the people that I would have loved talking to and fellowshipping with. I was feeling pretty sorry for myself when the pastor's wife came in and talked with me and encouraged me. I love Stacy -- she's only a couple years older than me and just had her third baby and we've shared many discouraging moments with our kids at church.
Of course, today I could have just packed up both of the girls and left early which I have had to do before when Sam wasn't there to help me. But I decided to just stick it out and even if I wasn't getting as much fellowship as I would have liked, I was at least there and able to be around my church family for awhile.
Anyway, soon it was time to go and of course Kayley fell asleep in the car on the way home which usually means she won't take a nap at home, but I took off her sandals and plopped her in her crib anyway! I haven't heard any yelling or crying yet so who knows. Maybe she'll actually sleep.
So I don't even know what this whole post was supposed to really be about except that I REALLY appreciate the wisdom and advice from older moms who have been down this road a lot longer than me. And I had a hard morning.
How about anyone else out there? Do you like to learn from other moms and have you ever had hard mornings with your kids at church?
4 comments:
Jim and Shelley and their family are so wonderful! I have many great memories with all of them, as they were the pastors at the church I grew up in for the first ten years of my life! Tell them hello from me when you see them next!
Sorry about the tough morning... glad that you had some others to encourage you!
Oh, Lesley! I have been in your shoes. And I admit to thinking sometimes, "It would be so much easier to stay at home!" Since I'm a young mom in the same shoes, I can't offer any great words of advice--but please know that just by taking the girls to church, you're cultivating a godly heritage in them. You're doing what is good and right even though it's hard. Cheers to you!!
Dear Les,
The Belly Pics are so cute with the girls hugging baby brother. You may look very big and be very uncomfy, but you are still an adorable preggo lady that is "all belly." I hope these next several weeks go fast for both of us!
I'm sorry you had such a rough morning at church. I've been there and done that since Josiah is often helping with sound booth or worship team. As the person in charge of the nurseries at our church, I think it's awfully rude of that woman to ditch her shift because she wanted to watch the program. It sounds like your church is a bit smaller than mine so I understand that she would want to if Kayley was the only one, but still, it seems rude to me. I agree with Heather that although it is SO VERY tempting to stay home from church on days like that, you are doing a great thing by continuing to go. Two things that help us a lot (besides nursery!) are the busy bags our church has for younger kids with coloring books and crayons to keep them occupied until it's time for Children's Church. If your church doesn't have these maybe you could make one and leave it in a secret place at church or in your van so it's handy on Sundays. Another thing that saves us: Snacks! I always make sure the nurseries are stocked and when Jer starts screaming when I leave him each week I tell the ladies he'll instantly calm down with a cracker since it's about his normal snack time anyway.
I'm glad a couple of people tried to help you out during your rough morning. I'm glad you have some folks in your life who are worth imitating and seeking advice from in this rough task of mothering! Hang in there and know that someday you'll be out of this stage and mercifully helping another young mother with kids at church.
Oh, and lately I've been feeling super tired and dizzy and shaky in church due to running around getting ready and not eating enough before church. So, today I chose to be late, but have a high-protein snack before I went. I may have missed a few songs, but it was worth it as I felt great the whole time and caught the whole sermon instead of zoning! Take care of yourself too!
No problem...it's Schmidt. Thanks. and have a great week!
Post a Comment